| Saturday, May 16th, 2009 |
| 8:15 am |
'and it all boils sown to one quotable phrase-
if you love something, give it away.' i wonder where all of those things accumulate. by now i can't struggle too much, i've just come to placidly accept it. when i see you again, what will you be? i've never known anyone else with weirder luck, more bizarre interjections of fate when it comes to love and friendship. love you guys. |
| Sunday, January 18th, 2009 |
| 2:47 am |
i have come to the earnest conclusion that it is easier to obsess over obsessive people. i have also concluded that obsessive people have short spans of attention and affection. to the world! |
| 2:40 am |
dear waaaahjournal, my fucking face hurts. because i got fillings in my teeth, and extra novocaine because my body rejects it quickly because i am mildly allergic to it [SO WHY GIVE ME EXTRA? i don't know], and then i got sick this morning and threw up breakfast, and then at work i got nailed in the nose HARD with a hackey sack and my septum piercing bled a lot, and then because everyone in the shop likes to all blast their own stereos there is a constant loud clash of sound between four rooms, and then i got a killer headache, and was very fucking sick of everything [and being the only person cleaning everything] and blew up at everyone, spent hours regretting getting emotional, can't sleep, and now i am writing about it at 3am. boo hoo. |
| Saturday, December 20th, 2008 |
| 3:06 am |
i just wrote an email that was so intense. but it was good. |
| Thursday, December 18th, 2008 |
| 12:40 am |
oh to be able to think less about someone who isn't thinking about me and more about all of the people who are thinking about me but i am ignoring. aha! |
| 12:23 am |
there are times when i feel like a ______ in ______'s clothing. there are times when i feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing. there are times when i feel like a girl in boys' clothing. there are times when i feel like a boy in girls' clothing. there are times when i feel like a monster in a pretty thing's skin. there are times when i feel like i'll never run out of ideas or love. there are times when i feel like i'm being destructive for no reason. if you feel like you can have something, don't take for granted that it will be easy. |
| Tuesday, October 28th, 2008 |
| 10:59 pm |
another reason travel is great: every person-to-person interaction is individual. me-to-you is a different entity than me-to-him of you-to-her. that is to say, as most people already feel, that you are a different person in every environment. in travel this is somehow more and less true. at any rate, i think it is an opportunity for me-to-me to be stronger. there is less familiar scenery and interaction. ...am i crazy? |
| Sunday, October 26th, 2008 |
| 12:19 am |
wherever you go, i am your home. whoever you love,---------------. whatever you are doing, i don't understand it but i am proud. |
| Saturday, October 18th, 2008 |
| 1:13 am |
cannot stop interneting.. realized lately that all of the excapist tools i used to rely on [the internet being one of the major ones, along with coffee, video games, ebay, some other stuff too] have either worn off or proved useless/damaging. argh! i really kind of just wish i could be addicted to something. i guess maybe that means i'm just hooked on change.. or adventure.. or maybe i just need some new video games. ooh, or comics. |
| Thursday, October 9th, 2008 |
| 7:11 pm |
things i think but can't actually say: #32 : nobody can make cat pee smell as good as you do. |
| Wednesday, September 24th, 2008 |
| 12:02 am |
i'm fighting myself over my opinion of love. james wrote me a letter, an in it was something like "love is not an emotion, but a lens that can go over many different emotions". and while it's beautiful and accurate, i still can't figure out what i'm trying to think or say.. other than that i hate thinking about love as s hormonal, sex-based drive/emotion. instinct, compulsion, procreation, explanation. i think i like even less [or maybe a lot more?] the idea of love for survival, or sticking with someone, an alliance, for food, shelter, etc. and/or feeling emotional connections to survival. burning man!!!!!!!!!! |
| Saturday, September 20th, 2008 |
| 11:53 pm |
the brain in the morning: "what makes bread delicious?" "BECAUSE I'M EATING IT." |
| 11:45 pm |
1st rule about pangaea: don't talk about pangaea. on that note: jorge, i've been listening to the music you sent me a long time ago. it is good. so are you. sorry [to everyone] that i have mostly disappeared from the internet. |
| Tuesday, September 9th, 2008 |
| 10:42 pm |
1. teethy teethy sharp sharkey snake teethies snake in man's clothing. 2. naive young and eager, shaking, trying but uncertain. 3. fresh and enigmatic, sleepy, bright-eyed, new, new, new. follow me. 4. wise by a process of fermentation. it can be dangerous to think of a friend as a lover. 5. bird boys, far away. |
| Sunday, September 7th, 2008 |
| 2:13 pm |
and i never go home but to feed my rabbits and my stray cat. abandon your bed; adventure awaits on couches, in sleeping bags, and in the arms of friends and loves. |
| 2:13 pm |
and i leave you, hoping that the damage i do to you today lasts until i see you again. |
| 2:12 pm |
and we part, hoping that the damage we do this year will have been repaired and forgotten in the years to come. |
| Saturday, August 23rd, 2008 |
| 1:05 am |
in the midst of a beautiful feeling, i'd rather avoid sleep. i'd rather avoid distance. i guess it's easy for something beautiful to turn into poison. or maybe i just suck at love. |
| Tuesday, August 19th, 2008 |
| 11:55 pm |
i had a dream about you. and then i had a dream that i told you that i had a dream about you. it didn't pan out so well. so i don't think i'll mention it. |
| Sunday, August 17th, 2008 |
| 12:23 am |
tired, brain melting, constant need to apologize. [liz is] sick of getting blown off. cut it out? i don't think that's really a lot to ask? dfgl;' ALaksjalskjlaksjlaskfjldfkjgflgjlgkjalas ka don't start what you can't finish. |
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panpangaea's journal